Love Yourself & Don't Apologize

Thursday thoughts...

Don’t Apologize. Don’t get me wrong — I apologize all the time and I don’t have a problem with it. But that’s not what I mean today by the title of this post: “Don’t apologize.”

I think it happens somewhere in your mid to late 40s. Your parents are getting older. You look around and realize — wow, life really is short. You’re halfway through it already. And then you start looking back... at all the things you worried about, the mistakes you made, the years you spent beating yourself up for not saying or doing the “right” thing, or not choosing the “right” path.

Someone says something sharp to make sure you know you’re not good enough — and you take it. Why? Because deep down, you’ve got all your own little demon secrets. You already believe that maybe you’re not good enough. But then — bam. Midlife hits. And something shifts.

At least it did for me. And it hit me like a bucket of ice water over my head.

Comparison is the killer.Years ago, I decided my health and happiness were more important than trying to keep up with the Joneses. And what I’ve learned? No one really can keep up anyway — because it’s an inside job. Watching what others are doing, how they look compared to you... it’s a waste of time. It will never be enough.

Most of my life, I have been my biggest obstacle. The voice inside my head told me I wasn’t enough long before anyone else ever could. So if someone did say something hurtful, it just confirmed the B.S. beliefs in my head already running the show. And you can try to hide that with a smile — but it shows. It always shows in some way if your thoughts aren't right.

I’ve read so many books about how your thoughts rule your life. And still, my mind has played tricks on me.

I love working out. I love the gym. But even there, surrounded by strong, amazing, like-minded people, I notice something: their posture. So many people don’t stand tall. And I catch myself doing it too, especially when I’m suddenly feeling insecure for one reason or another. It's when I'm not being intentional — when I’m disconnected from my purposeful, goal oriented thoughts.

Very early on, around 5 years old, I began feeling really uncomfortable around others. At 10 years old and into my early teenage years I had the worst posture. Slumped shoulders. I was extremely shy, I wanted to hide. I didn’t want to be seen. I thought, maybe if I made myself small and non-threatening, people would just think, “She’s nice, she means no harm, I’ll let her be.”

That was my way of apologizing for existing — without saying a word.

Thankfully, my parents prepared me as well as they knew how with tools to help me gain greater confidence. I was enrolled in community theater for 5 years starting at age 9. They urged me to always put myself in situations where I was uncomfortable. They said it would make me stronger. So, although I was incredibly shy, starting at age 16, I started working and I was in environments where I was surrounded by all kinds of people. They urged me to read self development books, like Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". And they introduced me to healthy habits like fitness. They also reminded me to keep doing what I love, whether it's a hobby or chosen career. Still, self limiting beliefs hang out in the background of our minds as they did for me.

But here’s what I've learned as an adult from both failing and succeeding: I can't live to shrink. I need to LIVE to rise. I need to do this, first and foremost for myself but also for those around me. I am an EXAMPLE. As Brendon Burchard, CEO of Growthday says, "I am a role model". We are ALL role models and when we remember that, we realize, it's not just about us. Right? If we aren't setting high standards for ourselves to be an example for ourself and for others, then what are we doing?

Fitness is one of my greatest loves in life. I don't workout like the average person. I train for my future — and for the past couple of months, a fire has been lit inside me because I am now training for my 85-year-old self, like a beast. I am striving to be my strongest, for my mind AND body. I'm doing it for the ongoing building of my confidence and for how I want to show up in the world. I'm constantly planning, tweaking, and setting higher fitness goals for myself — not because I'm chasing perfection, but because I believe in living up to my greatest potential. I hold high expectations for myself, and I love it. I’m not competing with others — I’m competing with the past version of me. And I'm competing hard.

If my discipline, my consistency, and my energy can help someone else believe they can get stronger too — at any age — then that’s part of my purpose. That’s part of the legacy I’m building.

So yes, it can still be a battle at times. The battle with myself. But I’m learning: if it’s MY life and if I have a purpose while I'm here — and I do believe I do — then wasting time on self-limiting beliefs is wasting something precious. I have a job to do here. And so do you.

So today, I say: Don’t apologize —Not to the naysayers. Not to the jealous people. Not to the Joneses. And definitely not to the inner JERK that says, “Stay small.”

Your mind creates your lens in life. You see what you believe about yourself, others, what's possible and what is.

So... Just do. Just be. Be enough. But Be BOLD. Be powerful. Be on FIRE for your own life. Because if you want to make a difference — like I do, for myself AND others — you don’t owe the world an apology for being you.

You, WE, have work to do.

#grwothmindset #fitnesss #growthday #fitforlife #bestrong #strenght